Baby killer! That's not what my Zoom party called me. She was far too civilized and respectful for that. But she might as well have. She informed me that a friend had 17 committed orders for a product and a further five pending orders prior to a review of mine which so happened to be its first in English. In its wake, all orders cancelled. He hasn't made a single sale since. At more than €10K/pop, that's a very significant loss for a new small business. My review had published more than half a year ago. It was the first I heard of it. I was truly shocked. I'm not in the business of putting other people out of business. I'd heard stories to that effect of course when I still worked in audio retail; how kingmakers in the print press of the era could and on occasion did put smaller brands out of biz with one single review. To onlookers discussing it, intent or utter lack thereof didn't matter, only outcome. Death by bad review. I couldn't even remember having written any 'don't buy it, it's crap' travesty. I wouldn't and I hadn't. But neither had I knocked one out of the park. Considering the time gone by, why did my surely now exhausted and tired old piece still behave as a sales assassin and interest slayer? Hadn't other reviews shifted the trajectory in the interim? As I was told, apparently my Google ranking means that any search for this brand or product brings up my review on top of the page above even the manufacturer's own website. My 'lukewarm' review just won't go away.
Why was this the first I heard of it? Why wasn't it the afflicted party who contacted me now but a friend? Did the individual still feel too traumatized to face his baby's killer? I'm framing this in dirt-sheet lingo because the effect, no matter how unintended, clearly is very real. A murder has been committed, a promising project killed, funds to recoup prior R&D and show attendance dried up completely. What is my takeaway other than honest befuddlement over the way and timing in which I learnt of this? Only that at least in this case, the other party clearly thought me so unapproachable as to attempt no contact at all. What real recourse would there be when we don't disappear reviews which manufacturers aren't thrilled by; or rewrite them unless we committed factual errors? There's the option for a 2nd opinion by another writer; or a postscript by yours truly to clarify certain points should I learn that potential clients misinterpreted statements or got unduly hung up by a particular paragraph perhaps not phrased carefully enough. After all, a lot of reviewing is personal opinion. That sharing it on a widely read platform can have serious consequences cannot be underestimated.
To be very clear, I'm not above critique or being challenged on a given finding. I'm not immune from making mistakes and may not always have copacetic gear to arrive at expected results. But to correct anything, to even consider the potential for any correction or mitigation, must begin with the first step: communication. I'm very easy to reach. My email hasn't changed in 23 years and if you've organized a review, you already have it. I respond promptly. Anyone who has followed even one of my podcasts with John Darko must surely know that I'm no fire-spitting infant-roasting cannibal. At least I thought so until today. Perhaps I'm in dire need of an image consultant? Perhaps someone needs to grow a set and send me an email, Zoom invite or pick up the phone instead of using a go-between? Perhaps as usual, the truth lives somewhere in the middle? If I figure it out, I'll let you know in due time in some other little ditty.
Hopefully that won't need to be entitled Babykiller. Finally behind bars. Whilst the phrasing remains sensationalist, the point is very serious. Whenever particularly smaller more artisanal producers send us anything for review, they do send us their babies. Invisible in the toddler's shipping carton are hopes, desires and future plans mixed with investments in time, money and effort, apprehension and anxiety. All of it warrants respect and responsibility. It's a difficult thing to balance out properly against our own findings, opinions and how we choose to phrase and formulate them. After 23 years on this post, I'm clearly still learning about exactly that balance. Killing a project or at the very least setting it back for a lengthy period so isn't why I do what I do. That it happened anyway now does weigh on me…
PS: A day later I learnt that a member of my team had communicated with the aggrieved party shortly after my review and offered to pen a 2nd opinion. This would even have included a recommended ancillary to insure intended performance. This offer was never pursued. Having found this out, now I can sleep better. This maker opted to do nothing. With that we can do nothing. That ship has sailed now…
