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Commentator: Srajan Ebaen Review Component Retail: $19.99, $59.99 and $199.99 for 40, 240 and 420 as shown below |
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In John Berendt's absolutely brilliant second novel The City of Falling Angels [Sceptre] which portrays Venice through some of its more illustrious, eccentric and all very real characters while investigating the cause of the Fenice Opera House fire -- not for nothing is Berendt a journalist, former editor of the New York magazine and author of the celebrated In the Garden of Good and Evil which Clint Eastwood fashioned into an equally memorable movie -- one of the most colorful men we encounter in the pages is the rat man of Treviso, Signor Donadon. We learn about his obsession during a gala party where, to the question of "Are you famous for a culinary specialty", he responds with "Yes - rat poison." And the man is dead serious in more ways than one. He makes the world's best-selling rat poison and owns a large percentage of the market. "My competitors approach rat poison the wrong way. They study rats. I study people. Rats eat what people eat. Venetian rats would be very happy to eat what you have on your plate because they're used to eating that kind of food. But German rats would not be interested at all. They prefer German cuisine - würste, Wiener schnitzel. So for Germany I make a rat poison that is 45% pork fat. My French rat poison has butter in it. For America I use vanilla, granola, popcorn and a little margarine because Americans eat very little butter. |
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"I base my New York rat poison on vegetable oils and essential oils with orange fragrance to remind the rats of hamburgers and orange juice. For Bombay I add curry. For Chile, fish meal. Rats are very adaptable. If their hosts go on fad diets, the rats go on diets, too. I maintain 30 research stations around the world so I can update the tastes and flavours of my poisons in order to make them consistent with the latest trends in human dining." To what's in his Italian rat poison, Donadon replied with "Olive oil, pasta, honey, espresso, green-apple juice and Nutella. Especially Nutella. I buy tons of it. I told the Nutella company I would be happy to endorse it on television and they said, "Oh, God, no! We beg you. Please tell no one!"" Regardless of what your poison may be, you better believe that there is some supplier keenly involved in the minutest of details to cater to your proclivities just so. Say your tastes aren't rats - or better, your need isn't to exterminate them. Say your tastes are CDs and DVDs and your extermination needs their space-consuming jewel cases. Slappa is your Hong Kong-based Signor Donadon: immaculately concocted, absolutely lethal, your satisfaction index red-lined. |
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In - um, case you didn't yet realize the severity and size of your needs, Slappa's new d2i 420CD crate is a Duro-Shock HardBody shelled, honeycomb frame structurally reinforced affair with zippered interior storage compartment for headphones, cables and sundry accessories; a removable zip-away lid; and three removable inner storage boxes which will hold a total of, let's see, fourhundred-and-twenty CDs (or 210 CDs + 210 covers) in Slappa's patented d2i pockets. Phew. And there you felt sorry for the poor rats. The real trick of Slappa's latest generation of mobile audio and video storage solutions are the interlocking sleeves. These dual-sided softly textured inserts with transparent art work sleeves terminate left and right in a positive and negative channel/receiver edge that allows for easy removal and the sideways clipping-together of multiple pockets. Not only can you now do away with the jewel cases while retaining their booklets, you can easily remove a buncha folders for a night on the town or a vacation trip from your holder, either loosely or by transferring them to one of the many available Slappa cases of various sizes. If you were a gal, you'd call this the coolest thing since the invention of the interchangeable painted nail. |
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Worried that, like an aging Casanova unsure about finding his nocturnal groove, I'd be like a fumbling idiot trying to unclip and reclip the inserts, Slappa's ingenuity and workmanship assured that I felt as goal-oriented and rushed as an adolescent. Off I went. Oops. I meant the inserts. They even snapped deftly into place once their spines had been fully inserted into the channels. Thankfully our anatomy doesn't repeat that trick. Although certain dogs caught in the act do seem to be rather interlinked and snapped into place. Just imagine. |
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Like intercourse, Slappa's interlinking system isn't a marketing gimmick gone to the dogs. It's a truly beautiful thing of charm, usefulness and therewith, desire. Granted, I'm not equally certain about the absolute must-heaviness of the d2i 420 crate. That's for professional DJs on the prowl. Otherwise it reeks a bit of overkill like the endless storage capacities of the latest iPods. But who am I to proclaim conspicuous consumption? I've got well in excess of $100,000 worth of audio hardware in my digs. Having used Slappa cases ever since they first came out, I can vouch that their CD sleeves won't scratch your silver discs and that their cases won't collapse even when stuffed into bulging, barely zipped-up luggage. Superior workmanship, competitive pricing due to the China connection and now a truly snazzy slide'n'lock system... get ye over to your closest Slappa dealer or peruse their on-line store. I imagine you'll be as impressed as I was while finding your personal poison to end jewel case frustration for good. Rats be gone. Drink up. Cheers. | |||||||||
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